Most of us can acknowledge the value of discipline, whether it be Bible study, prayer, exercise, or any other number of applications. They each have their place and contribute a significant amount of value to us. One value interwoven into many of the domains above is the ability to employ restraint. For example, if you’re able to restrain yourself from fatty foods, you’ll probably reap better health and physique benefits. Likewise, denying oneself from over-indulging in leisure activity may open up your schedule to more productive avenues of redeeming the time. It’s also no surprise that restraint, as it pertains to self-control, is a Fruit of the Spirit. Relying on God in moments of temptation to help us do this will lead us to conquer sinful lifestyle habits.
The particular form of restraint I wanted to focus on today involves restraining our tongues. In James 1:19-20, we read:
19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
When we speak, we can offer insight to others. However, it’s when we listen that we open the door to expanding our learning. Of course, a balance is pivotal because teaching does have its perks. Apart from the satisfaction of helping others who appreciate your advice, there’s the added benefit of solidifying to memory what you have recently learned. If we learn by reading, that’s good, but adding audio and visual cues to the same information is often the catalyst to better reinforcing them in our memories. The final avenue of affirming that information is to teach it. This last phase of recalling things to memory allows us to help others while we simultaneously benefit ourselves. However, when it comes to Biblical teaching, we need to be cautious before taking the role of a pastor or a teacher. We need to recognize the responsibility to deliver God’s truth as accurately as possible. The last thing we want is to mislead others based on an inaccurate interpretation of God’s Word. After all, those who teach in some form will be subject to a stricter judgment.
Restraining our tongues touches all these areas and many more that will go unmentioned in this article. One of the benefits of holding our peace and avoiding rash speech is to take in all the relevant information before we speak of it. It’s advantageous to all of us because it allows us to take a step back from an emotionally charged disposition and remain as objective as we can from our perspective. A premature response can lead us to say things in anger, worry, or sadness that we might regret a few minutes later. Such adverse outcomes are especially apparent in relationships where communication, patience, and forgiveness are paramount. Therefore, ideally, we should consolidate all the facts and understand things more comprehensively before our reply.
You and I aren’t capable of being angry without susceptibility to sin as God can be. His anger is perfectly justified and doesn’t impair his ability to thoroughly empathize with each person and their situation. We ought to rid ourselves of anger as soon as possible, so we don’t fall into a sinful snare. Even when our anger is justified, it should likely be short-lived. After all, we have wronged people, yet God has forgiven us. Who are we not to extend that same generous forgiveness to other loved ones in our proximity?
Restraining our tongue has additional benefits when we wield it for God’s glory. Our speech can be used to build up or tear down according to scripture. We’ve all seen this in action at some point in our lives as well. Whether we do the building and tearing or someone applying it to us, the key is recognizing its power and using it for good. Interestingly enough, it’s often the people that are closest to us who can build or destroy us most effectively. You and I would primarily care about how God viewed us and delight in His approval alone in an ideal situation. However, this isn’t a place that is quickly arrived. We may think ourselves more immune to the perception and opinions of others than we indeed are. Such sensitivity shouldn’t be cause for alarm, but it should lead us to contemplate what we can do to mitigate destructive forces. First, we need to surround ourselves with loved ones who don’t put us down and spend more time with people who motivate us instead. It isn’t always easy because we don’t choose our family, and we’ll typically spend most of our childhood into our young adult life with them whether we get along with them or not. In such cases, we need to make the best of it and pray for God to give us the strength to endure when the situation gets challenging.
The reality is we can control some things in our immediate circumstances, while other things are difficult to change. We need to learn to fix what is in our power to rectify and reduce the damage from the fixed inconveniences as best as we can. Everyone you and I know, ourselves included, is battling something. Sometimes it’s an inner struggle that involves things like worry, anxiety, or depression. Other times it might be a physical impairment or injury that we need to heal. Still yet other times, it may be external factors that don’t seem to have an easy solution. Perhaps you had a great job but lost it due to the pandemic, or maybe you recently experienced the passing of a loved one due to unforeseen health issues. In all these cases and all circumstances, we must recognize that God has not abandoned us. It may be hard to comprehend why he would allow such things to happen, but you’re never alone.
God will never leave you or forsake you. He is still in control amid the seemingly insurmountable chaos. He might calm the storm for you, or He may strengthen you to handle it better. One thing remains certain. We cannot lose our hope or faith in God because that makes us strong. Exercise restraint by avoiding the allure to doubt His promises. We must restrain ourselves from losing hope and faith in Jesus Christ. You don’t need to do this alone, for God will Himself give you grace enough to endure and eventually thrive again as He wills.
9 “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)
