Forgiveness involves the act of pardoning an offense. While it has many plausible applications, it can prove challenging to offer when someone wrongs us. In addition, letting go of the anger, resentment, or ill will we temporarily feel about a significant transgression from someone is not easy and may take time to process. Many of us quickly pursue forgiveness with succinct apologies, but we fail to empathize with people. We often minimize the gravity of our behavior. Sometimes, we tend to overreact and demand forgiveness right away when someone does something wrong to us.
Given that we are all imperfect and make mistakes, forgiveness is a crucial part of all our lives. It is essential for cultivating, navigating, and enduring a long-term relationship. If we cannot forgive one another, we fail to demonstrate the forgiveness Jesus Christ offers us (Matthew 6:14-15). Furthermore, we hinder our well-being by harboring negative emotions such as anger or bitterness (Ephesians 4:26). Showing Christ-like character involves loving others so that we overlook things that may offend others (Proverbs 19:11). As a bonus, we enjoy God’s peace for demonstrating self-control in avoiding unnecessary disputes and extending forgiveness when appropriate.
Forgiving others who have wronged us can be difficult, but pardoning ourselves can be even more challenging for many people. Instead of carrying the weight of our past transgressions with us, we must surrender those to God (1 Peter 5:6-7). If you have sought forgiveness from God and the party you have wronged when possible and applicable, the next step is to forgive yourself (Hebrews 12:14). God does not want us to live in condemnation (Romans 8:1). He wants us to enjoy freedom. No one benefits from us carrying around the guilt of past sins with them. Embrace that Jesus Christ loves you so much that He paid the price for those mistakes once and for all on the cross (1 Corinthians 6:20, John 3:16).
One of the descriptors for love is that it keeps no record of right and wrong (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). While some things may take time to let go, if we claim to love someone, we should aspire to avoid record-keeping as much as possible. I am not advocating that, as Christians, we should allow people to trample over us and avoid standing up for ourselves. However, we need to exercise discretion and recognize that if this is part of God’s description of love, it merits our undivided attention and obedience. After all, if love covers a multitude of sins, it is certainly capable of helping us when it is time to forgive family, friends, or even strangers as needed throughout our lives (1 Peter 4:8).
It is hard when the one who offended us does not try to apologize. But that may be because the offender did not realize their actions hurt us. However, if Jesus Christ has instructed us to forgive liberally, who are we not to do so (Matthew 18:21-22)? We must overcome obstacles that impede this process, such as pride or stubbornness. It takes a certain degree of humility to confess that we were hurt and to communicate those concerns to the one who offended us.
One way to help you figure out whether or not you have finally forgiven someone for a significant offense is to pray for them. If you can ask God to bless them with His grace and meet their needs, I think it is safe to say you have effectively forgiven them. Of course, you may still remember what they did wrong to you because it was a considerable offense in your eyes, but eventually, you let it go. Sometimes, experiencing something negative can serve as a valuable learning experience or defense mechanism. In addition, it may assist you in preventing similar incidents from happening to you in the future. Recalling the offense should not be something we dwell upon, especially if it triggers anger or bitterness toward them.
Ultimately, forgiveness is an essential part of the Christian life. Jesus Christ is the only One you can count on, never to wrong you. But, unfortunately, anything and everyone else can hurt us from time to time. In every relationship, whether with our spouse, family, friends, or strangers, we must learn how to navigate this reality. We tend not to have high expectations from strangers, so their mistakes or wrongdoings usually don’t affect us as much as those closest to us.
On the flip side, those close to us may hurt us significantly because of how highly we value them, especially when we get so comfortable with them that we take them for granted. As a result, we may be more respectful and considerate of people we hardly know by comparison. If we recall this, we can avoid becoming careless with how we treat those we love the most and treat them with the respect they deserve. We all need to take note of this and improve as God empowers us to do so to maintain harmony in our lives with those we hold closest.
May God help us become better forgivers and people who proactively prevent unnecessary disputes. With this attitude, we will be sure to maintain peace, order, and love in our relationships. Likewise, let us be patient with each other and recognize forgiveness can be a process that takes time. Chances are the more significant the offense, the longer the road to recovery. But it is a road that needs to be traveled whether complete reconciliation is a possibility or the goal becomes parting ways at peace that each person has done their part to move on in due time.
