Solitude has its positive and negative aspects to consider in our lives. On the one hand, we want to emphasize the essential nature of community within the dynamics of our well-being. Surely we don’t want to forsake the assembly and refrain from engaging our brothers and sisters in Christ regularly (Hebrews 10:25). However, intentional doses of isolation can offer fresh opportunities to enjoy the tranquility and rest from the noise. In other words, they are nothing short of a necessity for many of us to enjoy quiet time alone, especially when we seek God and His Word in such pivotal moments.
As with many other things in life, exercising moderation and finding the balance that best suits you should be your consistent aspiration. I would venture to say there is no one size fits all answer regarding the frequency of seclusion versus the time we spend with people because we are not duplicates of one another. There are also many moving parts to consider before establishing the pattern that best suits you. For instance, some of us are introverted by nature and will gravitate towards more independence to attain rest and peace. Meanwhile, extroverted people might derive comfort and joy from maximizing time spent with people. Examples of additional factors to help determine the best balance for you include the following:
- Current energy levels.
- Knowing our limits (i.e., stamina, stress, physical needs, etc.)
- Patterns of behavior. (i.e., recent activities, exposure of the senses to stimuli or lack thereof, etc.)
Recognizing these variables and considering the many that remain unmentioned above makes it challenging to determine optimal circumstances for ourselves, let alone for people in the aggregate. Interestingly, solitude provides us ample time to reflect and grow to learn what we need, want, and hope to achieve. However, liabilities like loneliness or depression can creep in if we over-emphasize it at the expense of spending time with loved ones.
Many of us, including those who identify as introverts, conceded that the recent epidemic we collectively faced stretched our affinity for alone time. Despite the connectivity technological advances provided through social media and apps like Zoom, almost everyone I recall speaking with afterward was thankful to reconnect with people again. It is not a stretch to conclude that parts of our physical, mental, and spiritual wellness rely on seeing people face-to-face and interacting beyond our computer screens. There is no denying that we are all social on some level. It is just a matter of determining where each of us lands on that spectrum that helps us pinpoint the proper balance of solitude and community that works for us accordingly.
As believers, this should indicate how vital it is to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-16). Sharing God’s love with those we encounter may seem like a small, unnecessary, or even inconsequential gesture to us at the moment. However, these moments have the power to change the trajectory of people’s lives. We have no idea what some people have faced throughout the day, let alone their lives before we run into them. Opening someone’s door, lending a helping hand, or sharing God’s Word could lead to a tipping point in the right direction (Philippians 2:1-4). A lifetime of acts such as these may translate to eternal blessing for them and eternal reward for us (Matthew 6:19-21). We might even experience the privilege of leading some to come to saving faith in Jesus Christ and avoid eternity in hell (Romans 1:16, Isaiah 55:11)!
Balancing intentionality with our solitude and immersing ourselves in our local Church community assists us in overcoming the numerous distractions that contend for our attention. Unfortunately, it is easy to get caught up in the motions and forget to be intentional with our resources, time, and energy (1 Peter 4:10, Luke 16:1-13). Looking for the thrill of our next moment of instant gratification, we may resort to things like excessive social media, pornography, drugs, sex, alcohol, and so forth. These can develop into harmful patterns of behavior and even sinful addictions if left unchecked. Such dead-end roads reward us with unearned, momentary dopamine releases that feel extremely good for the moment and leave behind a wake of pain, stress, anxiety, worry, or even depression to cope with later (Romans 6:20-23). If behaviors like these become habitual, they typically motivate us to pursue more extreme measures involving a higher quantity and extended duration of exposure to acquire similar highs.
Thankfully, when we fight alongside other believers and encourage one another to overcome such setbacks, we can develop accountability and extra lines of defense before these detrimental behaviors get out of control (1 Peter 5:8-9). We must avoid the traps above and instead enjoy God-given pleasures responsibly in their time while we repent of the sinful ones with God’s help (Acts 3:19). For instance, we can enjoy sex in a marriage relationship between a man and woman with God’s blessing. In contrast, outside of marriage, it is a sinful endeavor. We must refrain from settling for the fool’s gold the devil has to offer if we want to experience God’s best. After all, He is the One Who invented sex. It is worth noting some things are intrinsically wrong. For example, pornography is immoral, and we should fight to avoid it consistently (Matthew 5:28). Thankfully, when we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we can cling to His promises to us. He has set us free from slavery to such sins (Romans 6:20-22). If we reach out to Him for help, He will assist us. We can rest assured He has won the war over sin and death (1 Corinthians 15:55-57). Thus, we no longer need to live in condemnation (Romans 8:1).
Whether in a period of solitude or with your loved ones, remember you can always reach out to them for help. There is a reason God has empowered you to help others, and I would bet that those you have invested in will gladly be there for you when you need it most. If all else fails, God Himself will always be with you and never leave or forsake you (Isaiah 41:10, Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5-8). Take comfort in His presence and provisions today!
