It was 2006, and I began my post-high school track at the University of Miami. Early in my academic career, I strongly desired to excel. I had a rocky start to my first semester compared to the standards I had come to expect in high school. I was accustomed to achieving straight A’s. Going in, I assumed I could easily handle a six-class course load and stacked those classes to all be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with only the sixth class being Wednesdays. The sixth course was a post-graduation preparation class that would prepare us for either law school or an MBA program. What could be better than a four-day weekend every week? 

I assumed it would be an excellent plan as it would enable me to continue participating in competitive PC gaming while providing additional free time to focus on studying. However, I needed to allot my time to better prioritize school work and study instead of structuring my time to make room for the games that interested me. Ultimately, this strategy resulted in a mix of A’s and B’s with a C+ in a Communications course I underestimated. These results fell short of my expectations but taught me a humbling lesson. I was confident I could redeem myself in the Spring of 2006 and made adjustments to make that a reality. 

Adjustments were needed!

It was clear that I would only turn things around if I studied more diligently and put in more effort starting the next semester. I decided to do five classes instead of six and begin a paid internship with OfficeMax, which an old friend connected me with. I felt fortunate as this was not the kind of opportunity a first-year student would often get. I also made the crucial adjustment to spread those five classes through Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. One upside of the internship was that I would allocate less free time to playing PC games, but there were a few downsides I did not foresee. The schedule would give little room for error. I was confident I could handle it at the time despite suspecting I might exert myself too much. I thought, “How hard would it be to put games on the back burner and pay more attention if need be?”

I hit the ground running that next semester and saw myself excel in all I was doing. The perfectionist inside of me was delighted with my performance. Within that first month or two of the semester, I got straight A’s and worked diligently to prove myself in my internship. I even made some time to play those coveted PC games and give lessons for money to augment my income. Some upper-level classmates and co-workers I occasionally encountered recognized my hard work through their affirmation and encouragement. I also noticed one of the young ladies in a class appeared enthusiastic about getting to know me. In my eyes, I was on top of the world in practically every area that seemed to matter.

I felt invincible, and my faith was the only aspect of my life I had allowed to become secondary. I did not slip away to the extent where I would call myself a prodigal or rebel, but I was not seeking God above the parameters for success the world offered. All these things I pursued were good. The mistake was not ensuring God was my top priority (Matthew 6:33). I was not attending Church or any Bible studies (Hebrews 10:25), although I still made it a point to talk to people about God on campus (Matthew 28:18-20). I also did so in the computer games I used to play. But the reality was apart from that, and perhaps some prayer time, my faith was not where it should be.

God corrects those He loves.

After those first couple of months or so, I was highly stressed out. It was a great time to quit the PC games, consider dropping one class, or even let go of the internship to salvage my work-life balance and mental health. Given my competitive nature, I did not find these solutions reasonable. I told myself I would power through anything and the stressors would subside in time (Proverbs 16:18). It got to a point where I did not sleep enough, and I became severely burnt out from over-extending myself. I did not recognize my limitations and remove something from my schedule. Instead, not long after, I put myself in a position where I needed to drop the entire load immediately. That is what I did, and not too long later, I realized I found myself immersed in a manic episode. I even had to be hospitalized, and my recovery was no walk in the park, to say the absolute least. 

Instead of having the humility and self-control to retire the PC games and sleep better, I had to let go of everything I was working for. I was not angry at God but was perplexed why He would allow me to suffer such a severe setback. I would face similar consequences for my mistakes again further down the road. My excessive ambition, competitive nature, and perfectionism led me to experience similar events thrice more during the following decade. It was challenging to realize that God gave me a loving and merciful detour because I was overly focused on what I had lost (Hebrews 12:11).

To this day, I can only speculate what God’s complete plan entails concerning these events. First and foremost, it made me realize that I should invest in eternity over the fleeting accomplishments and accolades this world offers (Ephesians 5:15-17). It also taught me I could not force or accomplish anything outside Him, allowing and empowering it. None of us can do anything of eternal value outside of Jesus Christ helping us to do so (John 15:4-8).

Instead of becoming a lawyer or climbing the ranks of a corporate ladder, God turned my focus back to Him. I discovered the value of being in His will, learned that God is to be loved and feared, and even found great satisfaction in serving Him through writing, among other pursuits (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). God even blessed me with more time to spend with my mom and dad, who helped me in my darkest days and never gave up on my recovery despite how bleak things were.

I may not know every reason why God ordained what happened, but I could not be more thankful that it did. My relationship with Him is stronger than ever. I placed my career aspirations on indefinite hold due to the circumstances of what occurred, but I am all the more blessed for having grown closer to Him in that season. I will celebrate eight years since my last hospitalization in August of this year, and He has remained faithful to me. The trial was severe, but God never abandoned me or let me down in any way (James 1:2-4; Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5-6).

It can be quite painful or even excruciating at the moment, but God corrects those He loves (Hebrews 12:6-7). All the lessons God teaches you the hard way have their purpose (Romans 8:28). One of the best ways to approach this is to learn from the experience and mistakes of others. Exercising our humility and integrating valuable lessons into our lives is crucial. While this may not always be a luxury available to us, it should always be on our radar to consider the advice of the people that love us. It rings even more true when they have our best interests at heart and are qualified to offer the advice they give regarding the subject matter.

Final thoughts

Instead of finding your identity in your career, relationships, or other gauges of success, I suggest discovering it in God first (2 Corinthians 5:17). We can enjoy these avenues of human achievement in their time as God opens the door. But they should never be our most significant focus. If you find your identity in Jesus Christ, it cannot be taken away, stolen, or otherwise lost. Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:35-39)! Take comfort in His presence today. We can find joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment in Him (Psalm 16:11). Everything He blesses us with in this life is the icing on the cake. The real blessing is having the chance to serve Him and spend eternity with God in Heaven. We should thank Him for everything from the little material blessings (i.e., a pen and paper) to the largest of spiritual ones (i.e., knowing Jesus Christ as Savior) and everything in between. May God empower us all to live for His glory without regrets and appreciate all those blessings we are given rather than focusing on what we may lack (1 Chronicles 16:29-30).

Jeremiah 29:13 (NKJV).

There are times when I actively pursue God with outstanding zeal and other seasons when I find my attention divided (Luke 10:38-42). Sometimes it is rooted in mistakenly erecting idols or spreading ourselves too thinly across many areas (1 Corinthians 10:14). We might find ourselves in a state of satisfaction where we immerse ourselves in the things of God but then allow elements of compromise to open the door to complacency. A certain degree of self-awareness helps greatly in cases like this. If we realize that our hearts are not all-in for God’s glory, we can at least acknowledge that change is needed (2 Corinthians 13:5). Otherwise, it is easy to continue to slip away from God. As any seasoned believer will tell you, only bad things can come from that. The last thing we can afford to concede is our intimacy with Jesus Christ (John 15:4-6).

In cases like these, we might also make the mistaken connection of thinking that our standing with God might improve based on our performance. In terms of salvation, this could not be further from the truth (Ephesians 2:8-9)! Likewise, if we do things for God, they should flow out of gratitude and transformation in our lives (Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 2:10). In other words, we know that God will not love us anymore or any less based on what we do. We cannot earn God’s grace (unmerited favor). By definition, it is something we do not deserve in the first place. Suffice it to say that we are inspired to do good works as a result of being believers, not to become saved or maintain our faith and relationship with Jesus Christ (Galatians 5:22-23).

Our world sidetracks us with many distractions that detract from our focus on eternity. We must remind ourselves and other loved ones that such endeavors may not effectively redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16-21). At times we tend to concentrate on the circumstances this world puts us in with greater attention than that which we extend toward God. Meanwhile, we should recognize God’s sovereignty and find our ultimate source of comfort, satisfaction, solutions, and rest in Him (Psalm 16:11). Instead, we tend to resort to our efforts to solve problems that often only serve to stress us out or instill worry in us concerning matters outside our control (Matthew 6:34). Furthermore, many of these issues that we blow out of proportion eventually prove less of a threat to our lives than we thought they would be.

Of course, I am not advocating that we settle into a pattern of passivity and fail to address the outstanding issues we must face. On the contrary, God wants us to be faithful and fearlessly seek His will in good and bad times. The key is to remember that God and His numerous provisions are available to us as we face these battles (2 Peter 1:3). Rather than attempting to handle something alone, we can follow God’s will and seek counsel from others who can offer wisdom on navigating the situation (Proverbs 11:14). Likewise, instead of worrying about our circumstances, we can pray to God and surrender our requests, concerns, and anxieties at His feet (1 Peter 5:7). Finally, we may need to exercise humility if personally stressed or on the verge of burnout. Sharing that information with our loved ones who God has surrounded us with and seeking His help and peace is crucial (Galatians 6:9-10).

Another issue that pops up on an alarming basis is the perception that one has tasted enough of God’s presence (Ecclesiastes 8:3). For instance, we may live in a toxic work environment or face countless worldly situations from one Sunday to the next. We might think that as long as we replenish ourselves with God’s Word for that Sunday service, we can handle a whole week without continuing to pursue God. Then we are caught off guard when we do not feel God’s presence as intimately and lack spiritual nourishment (Psalm 46:10). We need to recognize that a brief sermon is not sufficient to cope with the weight of this world across the span of a week.

As such, we must consider options such as surrounding ourselves with Christian fellowship, personal Bible study, involvement in a Church small group, and maintaining an active prayer life (Hebrews 10:25, 1 Chronicles 6:11). I am not saying all these things are necessary simultaneously. Still, in a general sense, they serve to edify you and those around you in extraordinary ways over time (1 Thessalonians 5:11-13). They also open the door for you to share your insight with other believers and allow you to serve God in the process.

One of the key takeaways from all this is to recall that it isn’t likely that we remain stationary in our walk with Jesus Christ. Instead, we walk toward Him or away from Him with every decision we make (Joshua 24:15). While we cannot lose our salvation through patterns of continuous, unrepentant sin, it should concern us if we are not observing sanctification in our lives overall (1 Thessalonians 4:3). It follows that our intimacy with Jesus Christ should be prioritized and could suffer if we fail to neglect such concerns. We must avoid compromise at all costs and draw nearer to God at every opportunity (Isaiah 55:6). Every decision tends to lead us closer or further away from God. We should set our sights on the significance of eternity in Heaven with Jesus Christ and recall how brief our life is by comparison (Psalm 144:4, James 4:14). As such, let us seek God and His will by actively pursuing a relationship with our Lord and Savior. After all, it is only in, with, and through Jesus Christ that we successfully do anything of eternal value.

There may have come times in our past when an individual or group of people wronged us, and it had a substantial negative impact. Under these circumstances, we must forgive them. God has graciously and mercifully forgiven us countless times (Matthew 6:14-15). Who are we not to extend that same courtesy to other people? God calls us even to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48). There is no room for grudges, unforgiveness, and bitterness in the life of a believer. Life is far too short for us not to move on from these events. Of course, there may be circumstances where the grievance might frankly be unforgettable. We may even be prudent in ensuring that we do not put ourselves in a position to be taken advantage of again the same way. I think that this protocol would not be mutually exclusive to forgiveness. In other words, we can both forgive someone and avoid allowing them an opportunity to hurt us again. When we face these kinds of issues, we need to exercise discernment. Furthermore, we would be wise to ask God to enlighten us in prayer to figure out how to handle each situation one at a time (James 1:5).

A lot of us tend to steer away from any semblance of conflict. When it does not seem necessary, I tend to do the same. However, it takes confrontation to move beyond an issue in many instances. Maybe we have someone we need to reach to clear the air or set the record straight. Even if we decide this is the right course of action, it will suit us well to tame our temper. For instance, we can make sure we are not emotionally charged and try our best to empathize with their perspective before we engage them. The last thing we want to do is compound the problem with a new argument and cause more problems because we failed to exercise self-control in a critical moment. While this approach may not address the issue exactly when we face it, we are not sweeping it under the rug either. The last thing we want to do is bury our problems, arguments, and conflicts one at a time until, one day, things get out of hand. In this sense, I think there is merit to facing each challenge as it comes rather than allowing the accumulation of more minor problems to become a bigger one. Otherwise, petty issues that we failed to address in the past can potentially catch us with an unpleasant surprise in the future (Ephesians 4:26-31).

Another aspect of this we often face as believers has to do with our past sins. Instead of carrying that weight around with us, we should remind ourselves of God’s forgiveness. If God forgives us, who are we not to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings? If you still face the residual guilt of a sin God forgave a long time ago, you are doing yourself a disservice and carrying around an unnecessary burden (Psalm 55:22). If we already surrendered that at the foot of the cross, it has no business in our lives. If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). There is no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus who walk according to the Spirit instead of the flesh (Romans 8:1). Take solace in God’s Word in times of trouble and submit your past along with its problems to Jesus Christ (1 Peter 5:7). None of us is perfect. We have all fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). God’s grace should not serve as a license to continue sinning, but we can trust that His grace, mercy, and love meet us amid our shortcomings when we need them most (Romans 6:1-4).

Do not give the adversary a foothold in your life. If you feel the temptation to rush into sin or make a hasty decision, it is not from God. God provides us with ways of escape from temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). You are not alone in the battles you face. Whether seen or unseen, make sure you rely on God rather than your willpower to persevere. Our human will is limited and will eventually fail us (Proverbs 3:5-6). This reality makes it essential to rely on God to provide us the strength, wisdom, and discretion among His numerous other provisions. Some other examples include His full armor, prayer, and worship. These blessings empower us to cling to Him and experience victory by His power in times of distress. After all, apart from Jesus Christ operating in, with, and through us, we could never accomplish anything of eternal value. But with Him, we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37), and God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). May He always receive all the glory for the victories we experience (1 Chronicles 29:11).