It’s vital to remember that our emotional control shouldn’t come at the expense of our general communication in relationships (Matthew 12:34). For example, imagine a husband and wife in a conversation about dinner plans. The wife suggests trying out a new restaurant. Still, the husband, who harbors a strong distaste for the cuisine, nods and maintains a stoic facade to avoid conflict (James 3:2). 

On the surface, the scenario depicted in the above example may help maintain a temporary sense of peace. However, his bottled-up feelings could eventually erupt like a dormant volcano, surprising both parties with the intensity of his unexpected frustration (Jeremiah 17:9).

The alternative is to express oneself with care, tact, and consideration to our family and friends. The Bible makes it clear that these dispositions are all components of a healthy approach. We cannot afford to shut down with the people we hold close; our goal should be to prioritize quality time and connection in our relationships to ensure they remain strong.

Our aim then becomes to successfully process our emotions while communicating in a way that is authentic to each situation. For instance, it’s better to have a few moments of discomfort in a marriage that operates within the reasonable framework of love and respect rather than sweep those situations under the rug (Ephesians 4:15-16). 

These moments of friction are minimized when one person takes the approach of expressing a specific need. They might say, “I need some time to unwind after work before we discuss plans,” or use a time-out signal during a heated discussion to prevent escalation. By implementing these behaviors, couples can more effectively manage disagreements and cultivate healthier communication in their relationships.

If we avoid expressing the full extent of our qualms to our partner to appease them, we may inadvertently set ourselves up for future conflict. What could have been a few minor skirmishes resolving key areas of contention can, when left unchecked, become an unnecessary and excessive burden. By recognizing this cycle, couples can take early action to communicate openly and empathetically, breaking the pattern before it becomes overly problematic.

Emotional consistency and composure in our relationships with friends and colleagues is also meaningful. It’s not that we want to hide things like who we are or what we feel. The issue is that when we shut down, we may expect people to read our minds or put up with our unreasonable behavior. Not letting our feelings dictate what we say and do allows us to think before we speak (Ephesians 4:29). We hold our tongues just long enough not to hurt someone’s feelings and instead deliver the same message with more care (James 1:19).

Have you ever spoken anything you’d like to rephrase? When was the last time you could have shared something with more tact and sensitivity? It’s often our closest loved ones that we have the least care for with our words. We grow so accustomed to their unconditional love and their willingness to forgive. Instead of taking them for granted, our desire should include a deliberate intention to communicate with abundant love and respect towards them.

We can consider this quick self-assessment to develop daily awareness of our interactions with loved ones:

– When I speak to loved ones, do I listen actively and without interrupting?

– Do I express my thoughts with kindness and patience?

– Have I acknowledged their feelings and shown empathy?

– Am I seeking to resolve conflicts rather than winning an argument?

Use these questions as a guide to ensure that your communications are both respectful and genuine.

The next time you catch yourself in a verbal joust with your spouse, parent, child, or sibling, try to remind yourself to exercise this type of care (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Imagine a home where each moment is filled with grace and love for everyone. Picture interactions that breathe life and healing into the family unit (Proverbs 18:21). Envision kindness overflowing (Isaiah 54:7-8) and understanding reigning supreme in you and your most cherished loved ones (Ephesians 4:32).

After all, what sense does it make to treat strangers with greater consideration than those closest to us? The ideal is to operate with grace and love for everyone. Knowing that God calls us to love even our enemies, how is it that we don’t extend this to our closest family and friends (Matthew 5:44)?

I want to invite you to shoot for consistent love with those God has positioned around you (Matthew 22:36-40). Just because you have experienced their forgiveness and grace before doesn’t mean complacency is permissible (Romans 5:20-21, Romans 6:15). The way we esteem ourselves should inspire us to mirror that same consideration towards others (Romans 12:3, Philippians 2:3). God extends His love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace to us in abundance (Hebrews 4:16). That should, likewise, motivate us to take the same course of action with others. 

Next time you feel tempted to lash out at someone, take a step back. Instead of taking what they’re saying at face value, ask yourself why they think the way they do. Better yet, pray and seek God’s counsel on the matter. You may soon realize that their position is not as outlandish as it seems.

God even provides us with the tools to operate with restraint. The Fruit of the Spirit includes love, self-control, long-suffering, gentleness, kindness, goodness, joy, and peace (Galatians 5:22-23). All of these provide us with the fuel needed to exercise the emotional restraint that benefits everyone around us. 

For example, if we have self-control, we are equipped to respond to someone’s wrath with a soft answer and diffuse a situation (Proverbs 15:1). If we respond in kind, we would instead add fuel to the fire, which does neither them nor us any favors.

A marriage exemplifies both sides of the coin. The goal is complete honesty and sincerity, while also embracing the tension that sometimes comes along with the territory (Proverbs 27:17). Your spouse is an extension of you; in other words, you are one flesh (Mark 10:8). If you do them good, you are making a positive investment in your world too.

A good partner will mirror this behavior towards you as well, and you will feel compelled to keep this positive cycle going with one another for life. Create this dynamic, and observe how the fruit of your choices manifests itself in your relationship.

Exercising restraint with your tongues and ensuring your emotions don’t cloud your decision-making improve you as a unit (James 3:6). Their win is your win. Your win is their win (Ephesians 5:25-33). Meanwhile, if you fight to argue rather than to explore solutions, or if you fail to help each other cope effectively, you impede yourselves.

To translate this principle into daily life, consider implementing a small ritual that emphasizes the “their win is your win” perspective. A simple nightly check-in can serve this purpose, allowing both partners to share small victories, express gratitude, and offer support. This routine develops a tangible sense of unity and reciprocity, making it easier to maintain harmony in the relationship (Psalm 133:1).

Don’t let any of these goals and aspirations discourage you if you have a lot of work to do. I know that I definitely do. All of us have room for improvement, along with our unique strengths and weaknesses. Contemplate areas of growth within your grasp and begin with them. God willing, with time, you will find the strength to emulate Jesus Christ more fully in your emotional discipline (2 Corinthians 5:20, Proverbs 21:23).

Other times, we will seek confirmation about vital life choices. We might want to know if it’s time to take the next step in a relationship, a career choice, or another critical juncture (1 Peter 1:13). But sometimes, the only way to determine whether things will work out is to keep moving forward one action at a time (James 1:22). It is better to take incremental steps toward a greater goal than to rush into something prematurely and unprepared (Proverbs 16:9).

Are you unsure if God is giving you the green light to get married? Keep dating and pray for clarity. Do you need help to decide whether to transition from your current job to another employer? Keep working and pray for God to open and close doors that pertain to employment as He sees fit (Proverbs 3:5-6). Is it plausible that God wants to teach you something where you are right now and wants you to be patient (Romans 8:24-25)? Pray for wisdom to determine if you’re missing out on a lesson or if it’s time to make a more substantial adjustment (James 1:5-8). So, ultimately, we aim to balance aligning our desires with God’s timing and continue preparing for the future (Ecclesiastes 3:17).

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” – Corrie ten Boom

Look back a year, several years, or even a decade. Hasn’t God always been faithful to help you overcome every obstacle? He has a perfect track record (Romans 5:5). Why would you start doubting Him now? When you look back, do you see that there’s been significant progress in your life? Sometimes, it may be a slow progression from our perspective, but in God’s eyes, it’s the perfect timeline. We don’t have to measure our success based on the speed at which others operate. There will be people who may appear to have an advantage over us in several areas of life, but often, they may even feel the same way about us. Even if we counted all of it as a loss, it would be worth it if it were necessary to gain Jesus Christ in return (Philippians 3:8).

In any case, we don’t know what they sacrificed to get where they are. So, instead of staring at greener grass on their side of the fence, we should applaud the success of our peers and keep an eye on our lawn care instead. Their blessings don’t interfere with God’s timing for our blessings (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). The mistake lies in spending too much time and effort focusing on their gains rather than our victory in Jesus Christ (Psalm 118:14).

Instead of spending excessive time on social media or daydreaming about those around us, we should be investing in God’s will for us. We should concentrate on the things above and navigate life with an eternal mindset (Colossians 3:2). There’s no superior way to conduct our lives than doing everything for God’s glory and our ultimate good. If we love God and He calls us according to His purpose, we know that God guarantees this outcome for eternity (Romans 8:28). Does that always pan out how we want to in this life? No, but that’s where our faith comes in. A faith that in and of itself is a gift from God to us (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

We cannot find fulfillment in the things of this world (1 John 2:17). Only in God and a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ, can we find our anchor of hope (Hebrews 6:19-20). He is the sole source able to complete the gigantic, missing puzzle piece in our hearts (Psalm 107:9). Without Him, we have nothing and cannot produce anything of eternal value (John 15:5). With Him, we have everything, including the blessing of sharing eternity in heaven with Him forever (1 John 2:24-25)! If we try to find personal satisfaction in the limited things here on earth, we will always come up short (Ecclesiastes 1:14). 

Nothing can appease us in the long term without God being at the center (Psalm 16:11). Apart from God, people feed the insatiable appetites of their flesh, and unmet expectations abound. A man or woman of God knows they cannot find lasting joy, satisfaction, contentment, or blessings in this world apart from God (1 John 2:16). We cannot even discover it in the good things when we idolize them over God who provides every good and perfect gift in its time (James 1:17). Sometimes, God may not offer specific opportunities until we’re ready to handle them and steward them graciously. Otherwise, we may get lost in the blessing and lose sight of the bigger picture found in His plan (2 Peter 3:9).

We must be open to the idea that since God gives us everything, He also has the authority to take away anything at any time He pleases (Psalm 24:1; Job 1:21). However, we know His character is unchanging, and His promises are irrevocable (Hebrews 13:8). For instance, God is not taking away that eternal gift of fellowship He gave you through His Son, Jesus Christ (John 3:16; Romans 6:23). You don’t have to worry about losing your salvation if you have found it in Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). But it would be tragic if that promise led you to backslide or compromise your faith at every turn (Romans 6:1-2). Instead, it should inspire us to do good works that glorify Him (Ephesians 2:10). We must cling tightly to God’s promises and understand that some are conditioned based on our obedience. We must also distinguish between principles and promises to avoid confusion, but that is beyond the scope of today’s article.

May God equip all of us to seek Him above all else. May we walk in the victory Jesus Christ already won. Jesus Christ is our forerunner in the faith. He fully understands the gravity of what we go through regarding every aspect of humanity, including our trials and temptations (Hebrews 6:19-20). He alone can empathize with us on the deepest level and comfort us in times of need. The One who bottles our tears and counts the hairs on our heads will not abandon or forsake us (Psalm 56:8-11; Luke 12:7; Hebrews 13:5). He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. May we bring God glory in all our endeavors and submit to His will by aligning our desires with His (1 Corinthians 10:31).

It is always wise to obey God’s commands. We know evangelism is part of our call because of God’s Word. God has commanded us to evangelize based on what is known as the “Great Commission” (Matthew 28:19-20). It is important to note that while all believers should pursue the task, the path taken may vary depending on individual circumstances. Our approach should consider several situational dynamics, which are critical to conveying the core of our faith. For instance, it matters who we speak with, where we are located, and how to adapt the message best to communicate God’s Word. Aiming to do all this without watering down the message is vital to ensure we are compelling ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20).

We must exercise discretion and follow the lead of the Holy Spirit to be effective vessels equipped to answer the call God puts in our hearts. We don’t need all the answers before sharing the gospel. The key points of our faith are the ones we need to know how to communicate. We need to share such realities as:

• All human beings have a fallen nature (Romans 3:23). 
• Even one sin is significant enough to send us to hell if we do not come to saving faith (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Romans 6:23).
• Jesus Christ died for our past, present, and future sins to offer us salvation (Romans 5:8).
• Salvation comes by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone (Ephesians 2:8-10).
• Jesus Christ has justified us, or in other words, declared us as righteous upon our salvation (Romans 5:1).
• We can spend eternity with Him due to His love, provision, and sacrifice on our behalf (John 3:16).
• Our opportunity to reconcile to God the Father, despite our sins, is solely through Jesus Christ (1 Timothy 2:5-6).

These principles will help the recipient of the gospel message to realize that they are sinners in need of their Lord and Savior, just like we are (1 Corinthians 1:18). Empathizing and developing a sense of camaraderie with them can be a great starting point before delving into them. Learning about their viewpoints, cultures, and perspectives can go a long way. Connecting with them often makes these interactions more effective (1 Corinthians 9:19-23). 

Our approach may change as we gauge their receptiveness to the message. We must tread cautiously if they get defensive and unwilling to hear about the Bible. Some people could even react with hostility to listening to God’s Word. In those cases, we must give them space to reflect on what the Holy Spirit prompted us to tell them. The best we can do at that point is redirect the conversation to a neutral topic or walk away, depending on the circumstances, and pray for them. The blessing is that even in such cases, we can rest assured that we still did what God desired, and we may have had a more significant impact than we might imagine. There is no telling if they felt convicted about their sin. Perhaps God laid down the foundation for them to open their hearts to Him in the future through your boldness (Hebrews 4:12). 

Recall that you are a vessel for God and take satisfaction in accomplishing your responsibility in His eyes (2 Timothy 2:21). There is no need to concern yourself about the outcomes from your perspective. God already accounted for all of it. He can still utilize what you view as an unsuccessful attempt at evangelism for His glory. Think back to a current believer whom God transformed through unlikely measures. Perhaps that person was you. After you have given your best effort, surrender it to God and let go of worry. The key is that God’s Word does not return void, and we cannot imagine what God can do in any encounter (Isaiah 55:11; Ephesians 1:13). We cannot allow discouragement in these situations to steer us away from accomplishing God’s will.

Sharing God’s Word can take on many forms. You might be uncomfortable with preaching or teaching, but sharing the gospel can be done in various ways. You might see it fit to start by inviting people to your local Church or sharing literature (i.e., gospel tracts). Another possibility is to pursue evangelism online through written articles. Many find creative avenues to share, such as YouTube videos or social media. No matter what you do, do it unto God’s glory and find the approach that fits you best (1 Corinthians 10:31). 

God knows our hearts and capabilities. May we all glorify Him through evangelism efforts (2 Corinthians 4:7). It takes time and effort, but God saves people from an eternity in hell when we share His Word (2 Corinthians 3:4-5). That is a sobering reality that should always drive a sense of urgency in us to do so. Let us obey God’s call to arms and invite future brothers and sisters in Christ to join the fold alongside us. Imagine having a hand in helping someone avoid hell and spending eternity in Heaven with our Good Shephard (Jude 1:21-23; John 10:1-3)! May we be bold and unashamed to do so as the Holy Spirit leads us to.

It was 2006, and I began my post-high school track at the University of Miami. Early in my academic career, I strongly desired to excel. I had a rocky start to my first semester compared to the standards I had come to expect in high school. I was accustomed to achieving straight A’s. Going in, I assumed I could easily handle a six-class course load and stacked those classes to all be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with only the sixth class being Wednesdays. The sixth course was a post-graduation preparation class that would prepare us for either law school or an MBA program. What could be better than a four-day weekend every week? 

I assumed it would be an excellent plan as it would enable me to continue participating in competitive PC gaming while providing additional free time to focus on studying. However, I needed to allot my time to better prioritize school work and study instead of structuring my time to make room for the games that interested me. Ultimately, this strategy resulted in a mix of A’s and B’s with a C+ in a Communications course I underestimated. These results fell short of my expectations but taught me a humbling lesson. I was confident I could redeem myself in the Spring of 2006 and made adjustments to make that a reality. 

Adjustments were needed!

It was clear that I would only turn things around if I studied more diligently and put in more effort starting the next semester. I decided to do five classes instead of six and begin a paid internship with OfficeMax, which an old friend connected me with. I felt fortunate as this was not the kind of opportunity a first-year student would often get. I also made the crucial adjustment to spread those five classes through Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. One upside of the internship was that I would allocate less free time to playing PC games, but there were a few downsides I did not foresee. The schedule would give little room for error. I was confident I could handle it at the time despite suspecting I might exert myself too much. I thought, “How hard would it be to put games on the back burner and pay more attention if need be?”

I hit the ground running that next semester and saw myself excel in all I was doing. The perfectionist inside of me was delighted with my performance. Within that first month or two of the semester, I got straight A’s and worked diligently to prove myself in my internship. I even made some time to play those coveted PC games and give lessons for money to augment my income. Some upper-level classmates and co-workers I occasionally encountered recognized my hard work through their affirmation and encouragement. I also noticed one of the young ladies in a class appeared enthusiastic about getting to know me. In my eyes, I was on top of the world in practically every area that seemed to matter.

I felt invincible, and my faith was the only aspect of my life I had allowed to become secondary. I did not slip away to the extent where I would call myself a prodigal or rebel, but I was not seeking God above the parameters for success the world offered. All these things I pursued were good. The mistake was not ensuring God was my top priority (Matthew 6:33). I was not attending Church or any Bible studies (Hebrews 10:25), although I still made it a point to talk to people about God on campus (Matthew 28:18-20). I also did so in the computer games I used to play. But the reality was apart from that, and perhaps some prayer time, my faith was not where it should be.

God corrects those He loves.

After those first couple of months or so, I was highly stressed out. It was a great time to quit the PC games, consider dropping one class, or even let go of the internship to salvage my work-life balance and mental health. Given my competitive nature, I did not find these solutions reasonable. I told myself I would power through anything and the stressors would subside in time (Proverbs 16:18). It got to a point where I did not sleep enough, and I became severely burnt out from over-extending myself. I did not recognize my limitations and remove something from my schedule. Instead, not long after, I put myself in a position where I needed to drop the entire load immediately. That is what I did, and not too long later, I realized I found myself immersed in a manic episode. I even had to be hospitalized, and my recovery was no walk in the park, to say the absolute least. 

Instead of having the humility and self-control to retire the PC games and sleep better, I had to let go of everything I was working for. I was not angry at God but was perplexed why He would allow me to suffer such a severe setback. I would face similar consequences for my mistakes again further down the road. My excessive ambition, competitive nature, and perfectionism led me to experience similar events thrice more during the following decade. It was challenging to realize that God gave me a loving and merciful detour because I was overly focused on what I had lost (Hebrews 12:11).

To this day, I can only speculate what God’s complete plan entails concerning these events. First and foremost, it made me realize that I should invest in eternity over the fleeting accomplishments and accolades this world offers (Ephesians 5:15-17). It also taught me I could not force or accomplish anything outside Him, allowing and empowering it. None of us can do anything of eternal value outside of Jesus Christ helping us to do so (John 15:4-8).

Instead of becoming a lawyer or climbing the ranks of a corporate ladder, God turned my focus back to Him. I discovered the value of being in His will, learned that God is to be loved and feared, and even found great satisfaction in serving Him through writing, among other pursuits (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). God even blessed me with more time to spend with my mom and dad, who helped me in my darkest days and never gave up on my recovery despite how bleak things were.

I may not know every reason why God ordained what happened, but I could not be more thankful that it did. My relationship with Him is stronger than ever. I placed my career aspirations on indefinite hold due to the circumstances of what occurred, but I am all the more blessed for having grown closer to Him in that season. I will celebrate eight years since my last hospitalization in August of this year, and He has remained faithful to me. The trial was severe, but God never abandoned me or let me down in any way (James 1:2-4; Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5-6).

It can be quite painful or even excruciating at the moment, but God corrects those He loves (Hebrews 12:6-7). All the lessons God teaches you the hard way have their purpose (Romans 8:28). One of the best ways to approach this is to learn from the experience and mistakes of others. Exercising our humility and integrating valuable lessons into our lives is crucial. While this may not always be a luxury available to us, it should always be on our radar to consider the advice of the people that love us. It rings even more true when they have our best interests at heart and are qualified to offer the advice they give regarding the subject matter.

Final thoughts

Instead of finding your identity in your career, relationships, or other gauges of success, I suggest discovering it in God first (2 Corinthians 5:17). We can enjoy these avenues of human achievement in their time as God opens the door. But they should never be our most significant focus. If you find your identity in Jesus Christ, it cannot be taken away, stolen, or otherwise lost. Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:35-39)! Take comfort in His presence today. We can find joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment in Him (Psalm 16:11). Everything He blesses us with in this life is the icing on the cake. The real blessing is having the chance to serve Him and spend eternity with God in Heaven. We should thank Him for everything from the little material blessings (i.e., a pen and paper) to the largest of spiritual ones (i.e., knowing Jesus Christ as Savior) and everything in between. May God empower us all to live for His glory without regrets and appreciate all those blessings we are given rather than focusing on what we may lack (1 Chronicles 16:29-30).

For those times that we have fallen short, we must quickly seek God to confess our sins, ask for forgiveness, repent, and ask Him to cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). We can move forward with a clean slate when we do things God’s way. Instead of carrying around the burden of our past trespasses, we can walk in confidence that God does not hold condemnation against us (Romans 8:1). We may approach His throne boldly and recognize that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, His Son, we have been counted righteous in His sight (Hebrews 4:16; Ephesians 2:8-9).

A key component of ensuring we keep God first revolves around avoiding idolatry (1 Corinthians 10:14). Idolatry can be deceptive because good things can become idols if we fail to approach them as God designed them. God blesses us with the chance to form deep connections with others that could potentially lead to marriage. However, we are not exercising wisdom if we prioritize these relationships over our devotion to God. Sex is also a blessing from God, but if we have it outside of His design in marriage, it is a sin and carries consequences with it (Hebrews 13:4). Thank God forgiveness is available to those of us who have fallen short in such areas. Still, our responsibility is to battle them and repent. These two blessings go hand-in-hand with God’s intentions for creation, and God designed them for us to enjoy in their proper place (Mark 10:7-8). The problem arises when we do not follow God’s guidance with the gifts He has given us.

When we think we are standing in victory from a disposition of self-righteousness and pride, we are also terribly mistaken (1 Corinthians 10:12). We all have different strengths and weaknesses. It would be imprudent of me to judge someone harshly because they struggle with a sin I find easy to abstain from. In our hearts, we must remember that there is always room for improvement in at least one if not many, areas of weakness. We should let that reality lead us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought and esteem others more highly than ourselves whenever possible (Romans 12:3; Philippians 2:3). If not, our pride and self-righteousness may become serious precursors to significant falls (Proverbs 16:18-19).

Sometimes, even though we feel we are in good standing with God, we must ask God to examine and help us align our heart’s desires with His will (Proverbs 3:5-6). We may have a problem that may be hard to detect due to being desensitized to the gravity of the situation. Perhaps it stems from ignorance, habitual sin, or the long-term underestimation of a foothold that became a prominent issue or a stronghold. Thankfully, God can help us take thoughts captive and empower us to demolish strongholds we may have mistakenly allowed our adversary to develop (2 Corinthians 10:4-6). A combination of humility, self-awareness, and prayer can be the antidote we need to resolve these issues immediately. The sooner we cut a small sin off at its root, the better off we will be long-term, for it will not have the chance to grow (Matthew 5:29-30).

It is vital to pursue the well-being of our loved ones and help them when they are willing to consider our advice. Sometimes we can offer the truth in love to a fellow brother or sister in Christ (Ephesians 4:14-15). It can bring temporary discomfort or, in extreme cases, potentially cost us that relationship altogether. But they may need to hear what we say, which could become an eternal blessing (Galatians 6:1-3).

I only advocate that we do this with careful consideration of factors such as our proximity to them relationally, the timing of relevant circumstances, and their willingness to heed our advice in prior instances. Sometimes we must be willing to risk a friendship to offer them the direction they might not realize they desperately need. There are enough people out there that are willing to tell you what you desire to hear (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Good friends occasionally offer advice that challenges and steers us to consider our decision-making.

When you give this kind of advice, it is wise to pray beforehand and ensure it is with good intentions. Speak the truth with love and offer it gracefully in proportion to the topic’s sensitivity. Transparency with your difficulty in a similar area may help them understand they are not alone in their struggle (Matthew 7:1-5). They may not appreciate it now but will be grateful in the long run. If you receive such constructive criticism or judgment, try to exercise self-control and discernment (James 1:19-20). It may be difficult not to get defensive, but ask yourself if the person has your best interests at heart and is qualified to offer advice about the topic. You should take their advice with a grain of salt when one of these requirements is lacking. Seek God’s guidance above all in prayer to find confirmation before you make any sudden decisions.

Ultimately, we all need each other and God above all others. Do not hesitate to act if you are confident God is leading you to do so. But remember that God often aligns us with His will and speaks to us through the loved ones He surrounds us with. Keep in mind that God will never contradict His Word. Seek and obey Him above all others, but try to maintain the humility to recognize when you are given quality advice from someone perhaps older, wiser, or otherwise more experienced than you in certain areas. Their words may not be as gracious as you desire, but if acting on them would save you from a world of pain, they are crucial to consider.

Simultaneously, from then onward, we begin our lives in sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3-6). It is the consistent pursuit of Christ-likeness in every avenue of life we find ourselves in. If we only thought of Him as Savior and not Lord, we might think we have no further responsibility than acknowledging He saved us. But it would not make sense to surrender solely to Him as Lord if we did not also know Him as our Savior whose death and subsequent resurrection constituted our redemption. When we take hold of both these realities, we realize we need Him and must surrender to Him as well (Romans 12:1).

Once we trust that Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross paid for all of our sins once and for all, we are motivated to take action. Such a transformation compels us to ask for the forgiveness only Jesus Christ can offer after He provided the propitiation for our sins. In other words, Christ is the only One who completely satisfied God’s wrath through His unfathomable sacrifice on our behalf.

The next step is confessing our sins to God, repenting before God, and receiving forgiveness for all our trespasses (Romans 10:9). If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). In our minds, we understand that God has forgiven us for things that are incomprehensibly offensive to Him. At this point, we decide to avoid practicing iniquity as much as possible and live a praiseworthy lifestyle in His sight. Instead of following the patterns of this world and conforming to society’s whims, we base our foundation for behavior on God’s Word (Romans 12:2). This transformation of turning away from our sins leads us to continue along a path of obedience that empowers us to rely on God to obey His commands (John 15:5).

While we have committed to have a relationship with and follow Jesus Christ in all our ways, it does not mean we are invulnerable to stumbling into sin ever again. But, of course, it is a red flag when such a sin constitutes a habitual sin (Romans 6:23). In such cases, we must urgently seek help from God, prayer, and accountability from a trustworthy believer to win the battle against it. However, when it comes to isolated moments of indiscretion, it is a reality we all cope with as imperfect as we are on this side of Heaven. But we must continue asking God for forgiveness and repent again for such compromises. It is, however, critical for us to avoid opening the door for sin when we know God’s grace is there when we have fallen (Romans 6:1-2).

As believers, critical aspects of our walk with Jesus Christ include core components of Christian discipline such as prayer, Bible study, fellowship with other believers, obeying God’s commands, following the Holy Spirit’s lead, and maintaining a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. All of these are fundamental for us to mature in the faith and cultivate our relationship with Jesus Christ. Life does not become a walk in the park for believers upon getting saved, but it does mean that we have the King of the Universe with us amid all circumstances. He will not leave or forsake His children, and nothing can separate us from His love (Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:37-39). The assurance of our salvation and His sovereignty are tremendous blessings that help us persevere when facing extreme turmoil or extraordinary challenges.

In seasons of doubt, we must remain faithful that God will come through for us. I find it helpful to remember the countless times God has answered my prayers or opened unexpected doors in my favor. When we recall His perfect track record in our lives, it often reminds us that God will provide for us in the present and the future, just as He did in the past.

A disposition of gratitude for what we have and what is going right in our lives goes a long way in helping us conquer the problems that arise. It also prompts us to communicate to God that we are indeed thankful to Him for his numerous blessings and not solely focused on what is not going according to our plans.

Finally, when things are not all going ideally in our sight, it leads us to seek God more fervently. If not for some issues, we might buy into the illusion that everything we have accomplished was due to our achievement. Rather than recognizing it was all God working in, with, and through us, we might stumble into thinking too highly of ourselves (Romans 12:3). We need to align ourselves with God, avoid thinking of ourselves loftier than we ought, and esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

While many of these assertions are simple to say and difficult to execute, these ideas bless us with renewed humility. They also remind us of God’s absolute control and our dire need to rely on Him for everything. Our walk as believers needs to incorporate them if we are to remain steadfast in God’s will, alongside obedience to His commands. If we proactively pursue Jesus Christ and surrender to Him in every avenue possible, everything will fall into its appropriate place (Matthew 6:33).

Even when adversity comes knocking at our front door, we remain confident that God will help us to persevere over any storm life might throw in our direction. Over time we come to the realization that God never lets us down. On the contrary, He has a perfect track record that showcases a level of love beyond our capacity to fathom with our finite minds.

Who better to trust with everything than the One who knows us better than we know ourselves? After all, He is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), and omnipresent (everywhere at all times). Add to these realities that God has His children’s best interests at heart in light of eternity. It should be intuitive at this point for us to realize that there is no one better in the universe to rest our faith and surrender our fears and anxieties. As such, we must rest assured that He always faithfully protects and guides us in the direction that best suits His perfect will and our well-being.

Another advantage of placing our complete faith in God is experiencing His peace. Sometimes we attempt to take things into our hands rather than pray for God’s help. These are not mutually exclusive endeavors. In many cases, praying and taking action would be wise. However, we overestimate our influence on our immediate circumstances and underestimate the power of prayer. Sometimes the best course of action is to surrender something outside our control to God in prayer and rest in His sovereignty (John 16:33). When the situation calls for it, this demonstrates our faith in God to handle our problem. Furthermore, we welcome His peace to offer us the antidote to our burdensome worries (Philippians 4:6, Romans 5:1).

As believers, God has created us in His image (Genesis 1:27). Each of us is an ambassador of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20). We are also friends of God rather than at enmity with Him when we walk in obedience to His Word (John 15:15)! Our ultimate purpose is to bring God glory (1 Corinthians 6:20, Isaiah 43:7). The execution of fulfilling our calling varies from person to person. Still, all believers are a part of His plans for us as we are members of the body of believers serving different roles that complement one another (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). When we have faith in these elements of our foundation and purpose, it should boost our confidence and develop our courage.

The Bible provides a steady supply of strength that reminds us of God’s faithfulness and love in the lives of believers before us. Knowing that flawed men and women, just like you and I, were used by God for the fulfillment of monumental achievements in the eyes of God should increase our faith and eliminate our worries. For example, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob parted the Red Sea to save His people under the leadership of Moses (Exodus 14:26-29), protected Daniel from being devoured in the lion’s den (Daniel 6:23), and delivered Shadrack, Meschac, and Abed-Nego from the fiery furnace (Daniel 3:19-25). So likewise, God is with His children today as with our ancestors (Romans 8:31-39).

If we reflect on our lives, we can refer to God’s consistent protection, provision, and providence to remember his unfailing reliability (Philippians 4:19). Do not forget the numerous times you, your family, or friends prayed, and God was faithful. It may not have always agreed with our perspective or timing, but often we are privileged to take notice that His timing was infinitely superior anyway (1 John 5:14-15). After all, it would be a tragedy if God gave us a blessing that we were not yet prepared to receive due to a lack of character development, preparedness, or appreciation.

Instead, He lovingly defers those blessings to the correct time after we have learned to handle them and experienced the contrast of not having them so that we might rightfully understand how outstanding the opportunity truly is (Proverbs 13:12). If we are honest with ourselves, some of God’s most excellent answers to prayer are those He lovingly does not provide for us because He knows what we need better than we do. In those cases, we should aspire to be equally thankful even when we do not understand why the door closed unexpectedly, and things did not pan out in the direction we foresaw.

The final aspect of faithfulness that carries one of the most remarkable benefits to all of us is God’s gift of community with fellow believers (Hebrews 10:25, 1 Thessalonians 5:11). God has given each of us a consistent desire to pursue fellowship with like-minded believers. As a result, not only do we receive benefits such as encouragement, accountability, and support from such circles, but we are also enabled to invest our time, energy, and effort in being there for others.

There may be seasons where we require one end more than another, but in their time, we all need to lean on one another the way God designed it to be. When we share our struggles, others can relate, offer advice, or pray for us. Likewise, we can share testimonies in our lives where God came through for us, and God’s answers to our prayers can strengthen the faith of our Christian peers (2 Timothy 1:8). Such actions can alleviate our fears and anxieties by focusing on God’s work rather than overthinking, which may lead to fear or anxiety.

Some worries and concerns should not be on our radar because they are far less of an issue than we make them out to be and often do not even materialize (Matthew 6:31-34). Instead of spending time in our heads about such circumstances, we are often better suited to pouring into the lives of others. Focusing outside ourselves and being there for other believers may be just what the doctor ordered to offer us a renewed perspective.

May God bless each of us with a desire to pursue Him and His will wholeheartedly (Jeremiah 29:13). Let us not allow the whims of fear or anxiety dictate our actions in life. Instead, let us build one another up in faith, knowing that God will never abandon or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5-6). We can trust Him to be there when life throws us more than we can handle. Submit your cares and worries to Him, rest in His sovereignty, and pursue the calling He instills in your heart to answer (1 Peter 5:7). There is no better place to be than at the center of God’s will for your life.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NKJV).

There are times when I actively pursue God with outstanding zeal and other seasons when I find my attention divided (Luke 10:38-42). Sometimes it is rooted in mistakenly erecting idols or spreading ourselves too thinly across many areas (1 Corinthians 10:14). We might find ourselves in a state of satisfaction where we immerse ourselves in the things of God but then allow elements of compromise to open the door to complacency. A certain degree of self-awareness helps greatly in cases like this. If we realize that our hearts are not all-in for God’s glory, we can at least acknowledge that change is needed (2 Corinthians 13:5). Otherwise, it is easy to continue to slip away from God. As any seasoned believer will tell you, only bad things can come from that. The last thing we can afford to concede is our intimacy with Jesus Christ (John 15:4-6).

In cases like these, we might also make the mistaken connection of thinking that our standing with God might improve based on our performance. In terms of salvation, this could not be further from the truth (Ephesians 2:8-9)! Likewise, if we do things for God, they should flow out of gratitude and transformation in our lives (Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 2:10). In other words, we know that God will not love us anymore or any less based on what we do. We cannot earn God’s grace (unmerited favor). By definition, it is something we do not deserve in the first place. Suffice it to say that we are inspired to do good works as a result of being believers, not to become saved or maintain our faith and relationship with Jesus Christ (Galatians 5:22-23).

Our world sidetracks us with many distractions that detract from our focus on eternity. We must remind ourselves and other loved ones that such endeavors may not effectively redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16-21). At times we tend to concentrate on the circumstances this world puts us in with greater attention than that which we extend toward God. Meanwhile, we should recognize God’s sovereignty and find our ultimate source of comfort, satisfaction, solutions, and rest in Him (Psalm 16:11). Instead, we tend to resort to our efforts to solve problems that often only serve to stress us out or instill worry in us concerning matters outside our control (Matthew 6:34). Furthermore, many of these issues that we blow out of proportion eventually prove less of a threat to our lives than we thought they would be.

Of course, I am not advocating that we settle into a pattern of passivity and fail to address the outstanding issues we must face. On the contrary, God wants us to be faithful and fearlessly seek His will in good and bad times. The key is to remember that God and His numerous provisions are available to us as we face these battles (2 Peter 1:3). Rather than attempting to handle something alone, we can follow God’s will and seek counsel from others who can offer wisdom on navigating the situation (Proverbs 11:14). Likewise, instead of worrying about our circumstances, we can pray to God and surrender our requests, concerns, and anxieties at His feet (1 Peter 5:7). Finally, we may need to exercise humility if personally stressed or on the verge of burnout. Sharing that information with our loved ones who God has surrounded us with and seeking His help and peace is crucial (Galatians 6:9-10).

Another issue that pops up on an alarming basis is the perception that one has tasted enough of God’s presence (Ecclesiastes 8:3). For instance, we may live in a toxic work environment or face countless worldly situations from one Sunday to the next. We might think that as long as we replenish ourselves with God’s Word for that Sunday service, we can handle a whole week without continuing to pursue God. Then we are caught off guard when we do not feel God’s presence as intimately and lack spiritual nourishment (Psalm 46:10). We need to recognize that a brief sermon is not sufficient to cope with the weight of this world across the span of a week.

As such, we must consider options such as surrounding ourselves with Christian fellowship, personal Bible study, involvement in a Church small group, and maintaining an active prayer life (Hebrews 10:25, 1 Chronicles 6:11). I am not saying all these things are necessary simultaneously. Still, in a general sense, they serve to edify you and those around you in extraordinary ways over time (1 Thessalonians 5:11-13). They also open the door for you to share your insight with other believers and allow you to serve God in the process.

One of the key takeaways from all this is to recall that it isn’t likely that we remain stationary in our walk with Jesus Christ. Instead, we walk toward Him or away from Him with every decision we make (Joshua 24:15). While we cannot lose our salvation through patterns of continuous, unrepentant sin, it should concern us if we are not observing sanctification in our lives overall (1 Thessalonians 4:3). It follows that our intimacy with Jesus Christ should be prioritized and could suffer if we fail to neglect such concerns. We must avoid compromise at all costs and draw nearer to God at every opportunity (Isaiah 55:6). Every decision tends to lead us closer or further away from God. We should set our sights on the significance of eternity in Heaven with Jesus Christ and recall how brief our life is by comparison (Psalm 144:4, James 4:14). As such, let us seek God and His will by actively pursuing a relationship with our Lord and Savior. After all, it is only in, with, and through Jesus Christ that we successfully do anything of eternal value.

While God’s ways may be mysterious, He reveals facets of His character, desires, and promises throughout scripture. Moreover, those of us who are believers are in the process of sanctification (Hebrews 10:14, 1 Corinthians 6:11). In other words, we are actively becoming more like Jesus Christ over our lifespan since we came to saving faith. Linking these two realities together sheds light on why we should pay attention keenly when scripture teaches us these things. We get to know God more intimately and learn what He desires we do by following the example of Jesus Christ (Galatians 2:20). The more we learn about who God is, the more confidence we will have in taking action as ambassadors of Jesus Christ throughout our lives (2 Corinthians 5:20). Since we also know God does not change His mind, we can take solace in the fact that He will keep His promises to us (Numbers 23:19).

Interestingly, God withholds segments of His plan from all of us. However, since we know that His agenda simultaneously maximizes His glory and the good of His children, there is no need to worry when we do not understand what He is doing (Romans 8:28). It is critical to remember that He operates on an eternal timetable, which can sometimes make better sense of our circumstances. God does not promise a life free of problems, challenges, turmoil, or trials. Jesus Christ warns us if the world hated Him, it would also hate us. (John 15:18-25). Thankfully, Jesus Christ also overcame the world and offers us peace even amid trouble and tribulation. In turn, this should inspire us to feel encouraged and find the motivation in Him to even be of good cheer in the process (John 16:33)!

Ultimately, God reveals and withholds things from us at His discretion (Proverbs 3:5-6). Several times in my life, I may have been daunted and not followed through if God had given me the fully revealed blueprint of what would come. It can be intimidating or even paralyzing to have a tremendous mountain to climb ahead of us. Instead, we should only focus on taking each step forward one at a time. We will find it much easier to manage and take ample time to seek God’s will at every crucial juncture (Jeremiah 29:13). In turn, He will also bless us with the rest we need to persevere when we come to Him for help (Matthew 11:28-30). You and I do ourselves a tremendous favor to heed the following advice as well:

“34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew 6:34 (NKJV)

If we refrain from worry, we will better equip ourselves to tackle life’s numerous challenges in light of this Biblical principle. Conversely, when we preoccupy ourselves with the past or overly dwell on the future, we rob ourselves of the ability to maximize the present. Enjoying the journey, being fully engaged in what is in front of us, and staying focused on our current circumstances will ensure that we do not take anything for granted. Practicing mindfulness like this will give you many advantages and remind you to appreciate the opportunities right before you! After all, not a day is promised to us, and it is critical to redeem the time for God’s glory (James 4:13-14, Ephesians 5:16-18). 

I would recommend balancing the discipline of abstaining from worry whenever possible with occasional reflection on the past to learn from mistakes and actively make reasonable plans for the future. After all, there is a significant difference between reflecting on prior events and obsessing about them. Likewise, there is a distinction between being consumed by future possibilities and setting expectations or making general goals for the life you want to achieve. However, we must always be adaptable because God is our vessel’s captain, and we must prepare for the unpredictable seas ahead (Proverbs 16:9, Jeremiah 29:11).

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

• Corrie Ten Boom

As with many other things in life, exercising moderation and finding the balance that best suits you should be your consistent aspiration. I would venture to say there is no one size fits all answer regarding the frequency of seclusion versus the time we spend with people because we are not duplicates of one another. There are also many moving parts to consider before establishing the pattern that best suits you. For instance, some of us are introverted by nature and will gravitate towards more independence to attain rest and peace. Meanwhile, extroverted people might derive comfort and joy from maximizing time spent with people. Examples of additional factors to help determine the best balance for you include the following:

• Current energy levels.
• Knowing our limits (i.e., stamina, stress, physical needs, etc.)
• Patterns of behavior. (i.e., recent activities, exposure of the senses to stimuli or lack thereof, etc.)

Recognizing these variables and considering the many that remain unmentioned above makes it challenging to determine optimal circumstances for ourselves, let alone for people in the aggregate. Interestingly, solitude provides us ample time to reflect and grow to learn what we need, want, and hope to achieve. However, liabilities like loneliness or depression can creep in if we over-emphasize it at the expense of spending time with loved ones.

Many of us, including those who identify as introverts, conceded that the recent epidemic we collectively faced stretched our affinity for alone time. Despite the connectivity technological advances provided through social media and apps like Zoom, almost everyone I recall speaking with afterward was thankful to reconnect with people again. It is not a stretch to conclude that parts of our physical, mental, and spiritual wellness rely on seeing people face-to-face and interacting beyond our computer screens. There is no denying that we are all social on some level. It is just a matter of determining where each of us lands on that spectrum that helps us pinpoint the proper balance of solitude and community that works for us accordingly.

As believers, this should indicate how vital it is to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-16). Sharing God’s love with those we encounter may seem like a small, unnecessary, or even inconsequential gesture to us at the moment. However, these moments have the power to change the trajectory of people’s lives. We have no idea what some people have faced throughout the day, let alone their lives before we run into them. Opening someone’s door, lending a helping hand, or sharing God’s Word could lead to a tipping point in the right direction (Philippians 2:1-4). A lifetime of acts such as these may translate to eternal blessing for them and eternal reward for us (Matthew 6:19-21). We might even experience the privilege of leading some to come to saving faith in Jesus Christ and avoid eternity in hell (Romans 1:16, Isaiah 55:11)!

Balancing intentionality with our solitude and immersing ourselves in our local Church community assists us in overcoming the numerous distractions that contend for our attention. Unfortunately, it is easy to get caught up in the motions and forget to be intentional with our resources, time, and energy (1 Peter 4:10, Luke 16:1-13). Looking for the thrill of our next moment of instant gratification, we may resort to things like excessive social media, pornography, drugs, sex, alcohol, and so forth. These can develop into harmful patterns of behavior and even sinful addictions if left unchecked. Such dead-end roads reward us with unearned, momentary dopamine releases that feel extremely good for the moment and leave behind a wake of pain, stress, anxiety, worry, or even depression to cope with later (Romans 6:20-23). If behaviors like these become habitual, they typically motivate us to pursue more extreme measures involving a higher quantity and extended duration of exposure to acquire similar highs.

Thankfully, when we fight alongside other believers and encourage one another to overcome such setbacks, we can develop accountability and extra lines of defense before these detrimental behaviors get out of control (1 Peter 5:8-9). We must avoid the traps above and instead enjoy God-given pleasures responsibly in their time while we repent of the sinful ones with God’s help (Acts 3:19). For instance, we can enjoy sex in a marriage relationship between a man and woman with God’s blessing. In contrast, outside of marriage, it is a sinful endeavor. We must refrain from settling for the fool’s gold the devil has to offer if we want to experience God’s best. After all, He is the One Who invented sex. It is worth noting some things are intrinsically wrong. For example, pornography is immoral, and we should fight to avoid it consistently (Matthew 5:28). Thankfully, when we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we can cling to His promises to us. He has set us free from slavery to such sins (Romans 6:20-22). If we reach out to Him for help, He will assist us. We can rest assured He has won the war over sin and death (1 Corinthians 15:55-57). Thus, we no longer need to live in condemnation (Romans 8:1).

Whether in a period of solitude or with your loved ones, remember you can always reach out to them for help. There is a reason God has empowered you to help others, and I would bet that those you have invested in will gladly be there for you when you need it most. If all else fails, God Himself will always be with you and never leave or forsake you (Isaiah 41:10, Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5-8). Take comfort in His presence and provisions today!