For those times that we have fallen short, we must quickly seek God to confess our sins, ask for forgiveness, repent, and ask Him to cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). We can move forward with a clean slate when we do things God’s way. Instead of carrying around the burden of our past trespasses, we can walk in confidence that God does not hold condemnation against us (Romans 8:1). We may approach His throne boldly and recognize that by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, His Son, we have been counted righteous in His sight (Hebrews 4:16; Ephesians 2:8-9).

A key component of ensuring we keep God first revolves around avoiding idolatry (1 Corinthians 10:14). Idolatry can be deceptive because good things can become idols if we fail to approach them as God designed them. God blesses us with the chance to form deep connections with others that could potentially lead to marriage. However, we are not exercising wisdom if we prioritize these relationships over our devotion to God. Sex is also a blessing from God, but if we have it outside of His design in marriage, it is a sin and carries consequences with it (Hebrews 13:4). Thank God forgiveness is available to those of us who have fallen short in such areas. Still, our responsibility is to battle them and repent. These two blessings go hand-in-hand with God’s intentions for creation, and God designed them for us to enjoy in their proper place (Mark 10:7-8). The problem arises when we do not follow God’s guidance with the gifts He has given us.

When we think we are standing in victory from a disposition of self-righteousness and pride, we are also terribly mistaken (1 Corinthians 10:12). We all have different strengths and weaknesses. It would be imprudent of me to judge someone harshly because they struggle with a sin I find easy to abstain from. In our hearts, we must remember that there is always room for improvement in at least one if not many, areas of weakness. We should let that reality lead us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought and esteem others more highly than ourselves whenever possible (Romans 12:3; Philippians 2:3). If not, our pride and self-righteousness may become serious precursors to significant falls (Proverbs 16:18-19).

Sometimes, even though we feel we are in good standing with God, we must ask God to examine and help us align our heart’s desires with His will (Proverbs 3:5-6). We may have a problem that may be hard to detect due to being desensitized to the gravity of the situation. Perhaps it stems from ignorance, habitual sin, or the long-term underestimation of a foothold that became a prominent issue or a stronghold. Thankfully, God can help us take thoughts captive and empower us to demolish strongholds we may have mistakenly allowed our adversary to develop (2 Corinthians 10:4-6). A combination of humility, self-awareness, and prayer can be the antidote we need to resolve these issues immediately. The sooner we cut a small sin off at its root, the better off we will be long-term, for it will not have the chance to grow (Matthew 5:29-30).

It is vital to pursue the well-being of our loved ones and help them when they are willing to consider our advice. Sometimes we can offer the truth in love to a fellow brother or sister in Christ (Ephesians 4:14-15). It can bring temporary discomfort or, in extreme cases, potentially cost us that relationship altogether. But they may need to hear what we say, which could become an eternal blessing (Galatians 6:1-3).

I only advocate that we do this with careful consideration of factors such as our proximity to them relationally, the timing of relevant circumstances, and their willingness to heed our advice in prior instances. Sometimes we must be willing to risk a friendship to offer them the direction they might not realize they desperately need. There are enough people out there that are willing to tell you what you desire to hear (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Good friends occasionally offer advice that challenges and steers us to consider our decision-making.

When you give this kind of advice, it is wise to pray beforehand and ensure it is with good intentions. Speak the truth with love and offer it gracefully in proportion to the topic’s sensitivity. Transparency with your difficulty in a similar area may help them understand they are not alone in their struggle (Matthew 7:1-5). They may not appreciate it now but will be grateful in the long run. If you receive such constructive criticism or judgment, try to exercise self-control and discernment (James 1:19-20). It may be difficult not to get defensive, but ask yourself if the person has your best interests at heart and is qualified to offer advice about the topic. You should take their advice with a grain of salt when one of these requirements is lacking. Seek God’s guidance above all in prayer to find confirmation before you make any sudden decisions.

Ultimately, we all need each other and God above all others. Do not hesitate to act if you are confident God is leading you to do so. But remember that God often aligns us with His will and speaks to us through the loved ones He surrounds us with. Keep in mind that God will never contradict His Word. Seek and obey Him above all others, but try to maintain the humility to recognize when you are given quality advice from someone perhaps older, wiser, or otherwise more experienced than you in certain areas. Their words may not be as gracious as you desire, but if acting on them would save you from a world of pain, they are crucial to consider.

It may help under certain conditions to pursue the counsel of others. After all, if we’re to become less susceptible to subjective perceptions, balancing our observations with that of trusted people in our lives can assist us. When we reach out to people who have our best interests in mind, are trustworthy, and are willing to provide counsel, we essentially extricate a lot of our own bias. Granted, it may not be a one-size-fits-all solution, but it makes sense in many cases to consider this approach. A friend might save us a lot of trouble in a realistic assessment of where we are at and whether we are exhibiting the qualities of a Christian. In my mind, I might think I am not selfish, but my friend can tell me that I am prone to make selfish decisions. They could advise that it may stem from being an only child or perhaps not having many responsibilities. Such insight would give me new evidence to consider. Wisdom of this nature becomes more valid when provided by many counselors, as the Bible advocates for in Proverbs (Proverbs 11:14).

Let’s consider a second scenario. I might be under the impression that I am good at cycling. Perhaps I think myself among the top 10-20% of cyclists. However, I can quickly remedy any illusions of grandeur by doing some research online and making some basic comparisons with people who are passionate about the sport. For example, let’s assume I cannot maintain a ~20mph pace for over an hour. I may perceive that I am better than I am in this scenario because I zoom by all sorts of cyclists in my daily ride. However, after a few minutes of looking into Youtube and reading a few articles on cycling, I realize that many people can sustain such speeds for several hours across 100+ kilometers. Suddenly I can determine I am not nearly as good as I might have initially assessed. 

Embracing this reality doesn’t need to discourage me and provides an objective view of how I can improve. Now I realize where I am and set new goals based on where I want to be. If you think you’re already among the best, you’ll get complacent before you even start to obtain excellence in your work. I rather know that I am an average cyclist and see where I stand than buy into the illusion that I am better without any concrete basis. 

A similar approach can benefit us as Christians regarding our walk with Jesus Christ. When we know our strengths and weaknesses, we can learn where we might need to channel more of our attention. Giving or receiving this kind of constructive criticism is not always easy. If we solicit a family member or friend’s advice, we must exercise caution to protect that relationship. However, it may be an excellent strategy if we don’t think we can be objective exclusively through our reflection. Don’t allow your weaknesses to define who you are. We find value in our identity in Jesus Christ, not our abilities or character. We all have at least a few areas to improve and many battles to fight, so we should all aim to be as humble as possible and build up others along the way (Ephesians 4:29).

The Fruit of the Spirit is a vital resource we use like we would a physical mirror (Galatians 5:22-23). Are you reflecting kindness, gentleness, goodness, love, joy, peace, self-control, long-suffering, and faithfulness in your life? Perhaps it’s easy for us to exercise some or even most of these traits under optimal conditions. But does that remain true when life gets more complicated, stressful, or challenging? These are the type of standards we should consider when pondering what it means for us to be successful. After all, do you want to be successful in the eyes of the world or God? The world correlates your value with income, beauty, accolades, intellect, and other metrics often subjective, flawed, or superficial. However, in the eyes of God, much of our success is based on whether we bring Him glory. We acknowledge that all the gifts, talents, resources, and beauty we may possess are God-given. Therefore, believers should rest in God’s sovereignty and serve Him with everything they have (Psalm 37:7, Colossians 3:23-24). 

We need to pursue what God values instead of what the world does. The fleeting lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life the world offers are not of God (1 John 2:16, Galatians 5:17-21). Instead, we need to love God and our neighbors as ourselves. These are the two greatest commandments, and if we execute each of these effectively, every other command is addressed by extension (Matthew 22:36-40). If we truly love God, we won’t yield to sin but rather strive for holy conduct by abiding in God (John 15:4-11). If we genuinely love our neighbors as ourselves, and by extension, everyone else on earth in consideration of the big picture, that means we love even our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48)! Indeed, these are simple concepts to grasp but much harder to put into practice. 

The world and its evil allures are all dead-end roads. There’s no amount of money, power, or fame that will lead you to true satisfaction. The only One who can truly satisfy you, and give you an eternally valuable assignment in this life, is Jesus Christ. Therefore, we must learn to serve God, not money, and live for eternity rather than our best life now (Matthew 6:24). We should learn to make sacrifices that pay dividends later rather than succumb to instant gratification.

If you are a child of God, He will mold your character and shape you into the person He wants you to become. When we are willing vessels, open and ready to serve Him diligently, He will assign us with a purpose for our life here on earth (2 Timothy 2:20-21). Being a child of God engages a desire in us to obtain Godly character to share the Gospel with the lost, fellowship with other believers, and potentially disciple others to grow deeper in their relationship with Jesus Christ. When we sow in these areas, we’ll reap many blessings, but they’ll be infinitely more apparent later (Galatians 6:9). Take heart that the more you willingly submit to God, the more areas you will enjoy His providence. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need further motivation beyond that to be all-in for God’s glory. I pray that you will embrace the same mission.